I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
