we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize