we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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