he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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