Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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