i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
