Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My vagina is officially offended.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
