There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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