I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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