i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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