Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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