this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
