Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
