maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
