So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
