My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
