I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
