Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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