Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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