perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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