Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
