I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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