Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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