At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize