its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
