he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
