Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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