Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
