how can u be prego again
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
