i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize