Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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