yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
