i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
