Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
