How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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