i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
