I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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