This girl is more easily done than said...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
