just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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