lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
