Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dear god my vagina.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
