she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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