Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i am craving dick and cupcakes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
