i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm getting married
To pizza
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
