ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize