It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
