he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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