im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
