i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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