How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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