i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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