TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
