I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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