I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
