Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize