you have to choose: penises or morals?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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