trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
