Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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