that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
