I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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