i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
