if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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