do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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