how can u be prego again
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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