im drinking this country out of the recession.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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