He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
