like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
