In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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