he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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